A new dating term called “shrekking” is making waves online, and it’s already dividing opinion. While the name might sound playful, the idea behind it touches on something deeper about how people choose partners in today’s dating culture.
At its core, the trend challenges the role of physical attraction in relationships — but not everyone agrees it’s a healthy approach.
What ‘Shrekking’ Actually Means
“Shrekking” refers to intentionally dating someone you are not physically attracted to, with the assumption that they may offer better emotional treatment than more conventionally attractive partners.
The term suggests a shift away from looks toward personality, values, and long-term compatibility — at least in theory.
Why the Trend Is Gaining Attention
The idea has gained traction as more people express frustration with surface-level dating culture. Apps and social media often prioritize appearance, which can lead to short-lived or incompatible matches.
For some, “shrekking” is seen as a way to reset priorities and focus on deeper qualities like emotional support, shared goals, and respect.
The Problem With the Mindset
Experts warn that the concept can backfire if approached the wrong way.
Amy Chan, a dating coach and author, has pointed out that the behavior itself is not new. Many people have long believed attraction can grow over time.
However, the issue arises when someone assumes that dating a less conventionally attractive partner guarantees better treatment. That assumption can create unrealistic expectations and unhealthy dynamics.
What It Means to Get “Shrekked”
The term has also evolved to include a negative outcome.
Getting “shrekked” refers to dating someone you believed was a “safer” or more reliable choice — only to still end up hurt or disappointed.
It highlights a key reality: character and emotional availability matter far more than appearance alone.
A Better Way to Look at Dating
Rather than focusing on whether someone fits a specific physical type, relationship experts suggest paying closer attention to behavior and compatibility.
Key questions include:
- Do they respect your boundaries?
- Do they support you emotionally?
- Do they show consistency and effort?
These factors tend to be stronger indicators of a healthy relationship than looks alone.
Why Attraction Still Matters
While the trend encourages deeper connection, most experts agree that some level of physical attraction is still important in romantic relationships.
The goal is balance — not choosing between looks and personality, but recognizing that both play a role.
